SÁNG NAY MÙA XUÂN - Nhạc Thái, Thơ Vinh

https://youtu.be/2YBvHDq-y18

 

LỄ ĐÓN THẦY NHẤT HẠNH VỀ VỚI CHÚNG CON - Doãn Cẩm Liên

Đó là một ngày sau cái ngày có lắm số 2: ngày 2, tháng 2, năm 2022. Ngày hôm nay ngày 23, Thầy “Đã về đã tới” nơi núi rừng Lộc Uyển. 

Thưa Thầy, chúng con đã tề tựu đúng 10AM, trước thiền đường Xóm Vững Chãi. Trời và Đất đã đồng lòng cùng chúng con thương nhớ Thầy bằng hai trận mưa đá lạnh buốt và để nhắc nhớ rằng “Thầy đã về đến nơi rồi nhé”. Có những mái đầu không tóc, không nón, không khăn, trống trơ trống hoắc chịu buốt giá đi theo chiếc bát đựng xá lợi của Thầy vào đến thiền đường Thái Bình Dương. Hình ảnh đó nói lên một tinh thần kiên quyết và trì chí của những người Con của Thầy! 

Gọi đúng tinh thần pháp môn “làng Mai” của Thầy thì Thầy nào có mất đi? Vì Thầy vốn không đến cũng không đi, Thầy vẫn sống phây phây trong các con của Thầy kia mà. Ai chẳng biết vậy! Thế mà lòng vẫn bùi ngùi khôn nguôi!

Đoàn rước Thầy khởi đi từ thiền đường Xóm Vững Chãi. Dẫn đầu là vị thầy giữ chuông, hai vị ni sư bưng bát trầm và bình hoa, kế đến là Thượng Tọa Thích Phước Tịnh, rồi đến vị đệ tử lớn của Thầy là thầy Pháp Dung, và toàn bộ tăng ni và tăng thân. Chúng con cung thỉnh Thầy vào thăm thiền đường Xóm Vững Chãi. Rồi kế tiếp Thầy thủng thỉnh cùng đi với chúng con theo con đường dốc xuống thiền đường Thái Bình Dương. Khi xá lợi của Thầy đã an vị trên bàn thờ là một buổi lễ Cầu Siêu theo đúng truyền thống pháp môn Làng Mai.

Thầy ơi, Thầy có vui khi thấy các con của mình luôn nhớ và luôn áp dụng lời dạy của mình không? Chúng con vẫn nhớ là Thầy đang hiện diện nơi hơi thở vào ra, nơi phong cách đi đứng ngồi, nơi những suy nghĩ và quyết định trong công việc hằng ngày của mình bằng “tâm từ bi” bằng “hiểu và thương”. 

Trong lời phát biểu của Sư Cô Đẳng Nghiêm về Thầy, chúng con nhận ra Thầy mình thật “ngầu”. Cuộc đời và sự nghiệp hành đạo của Thầy sao khác thường quá. Quan niệm đổi mới đạo Phật của Thầy thật táo bạo mà lại vào đúng tâm tính của người Tây phương. Bảo sao pháp môn Làng Mai không đi thẳng và đi sâu vào tâm thức của họ. Pháp môn Làng Mai nay đã được đông đảo người áp dụng và thực hành tại Pháp, Đức, Ý, Anh, Mỹ, Canada… Chúng con, những người Việt lưu vong xứ người, là đệ tử của Thầy tự nhiên cũng hiên ngang lây vì thành quả này.

Thầy Phước Tịnh được mời ban một thời pháp để chúng con cùng suy nghĩ thêm về những công việc cần phải làm, làm gì để đền đáp công ơn của Thầy, vai trò của những phụ lưu của dòng chảy lớn được nhắc nhở để các con Thầy nhớ mà hành.

Phần cuối cuộc đời của Thầy, khi phần thân thể của mình đã nhiều bệnh tật, nhưng tinh thần của Thầy vẫn còn kiên quyết làm thêm một việc lớn nữa, xem như là cuối cùng, là mang đạo Phật về lại Việt Nam. Chúng con biết sâu thẳm trong tâm Thầy vẫn mong người Việt trong nước Việt phải được thụ hưởng một đạo Phật mới mà đẹp, pháp môn mới mà dễ hành trì đã được Thầy khám phá ra. Thầy là người chỉ vẽ lại những điều đức Phật đã hành hai ngàn năm trước đây. Thầy của chúng con khác thường ở chỗ này “Vẫn là Phật pháp 2000 năm trước nhưng cách thực hành thì mới”. Hoàn toàn mới!

Quả là đúng, Phật tử trong nước Việt Nam đã được tắm gội, tẩy rửa những mê tín dị đoan xưa cũ và bừng sáng với một đạo Phật thật dễ dàng thực hành. Đạo Phật không hẳn chỉ là giáo điều phải thế này hay là thế kia, mà đạo Phật là những gì rất gần với đời sống thường ngày. Không phải! Phải nói là đạo Phật của pháp môn Làng Mai là những gì rất đời thường. Như đánh răng, rửa mặt, ngay cả khi ngồi trong nhà tiêu cũng có thể áp dụng được. Những điều người người có thể áp dụng được, để luôn thấy hạnh phúc cho dù họ đang ở trong hoàn cảnh ngặt nghèo, sinh tử. Pháp môn Làng Mai đã kịp cứu giúp những gia đình gần đến hồi tan nát bằng phương pháp “hiểu và thương”. 

Đạo Phật qua pháp môn Làng Mai thật nhẹ nhàng uyển chuyển đến nỗi chính quyền Việt Nam cũng phải chấp nhận. Họ nhận thấy con dân của họ trở nên lành thiện khi chọn học Phật. Những người Phật tử này lấy yêu thương làm nền móng, lấy sự hiểu biết và sáng suốt để hành sử. Chính quyền sẽ không dễ phỉnh nịnh hay đàn áp những con người luôn sáng suốt và luôn hành sử với sự hiểu và thương.

Dẫu rằng con vẫn thường tụng niệm Giới Thứ Nhất trong 14 Giới “Thái độ cởi mở” “Con xin nguyện thực tập để không bị vướng mắc vào bất cứ một chủ nghĩa nào, một lý thuyết nào, một ý thức hệ nào, kể cả những chủ thuyết Phật giáo” thế nhưng sao trong con vẫn thấy đạo Phật mình hay thế, tuyệt vời thế. Từ ngày con thực tập đạo Phật sao con thấy mình vui vẻ nhẹ nhàng, sống vui sống khỏe thế!? Con đang tự hỏi mình có phạm phải Giới Thứ Nhất này chăng?

Phần kết của buổi “Đón nhận xá lợi của Thầy về Lộc Uyển” là phần thông báo: Thất Thứ Bảy, bốn mươi chín ngày của Thầy. Khóa tu ba ngày 11, 12, 13 tháng Ba lại được sắp xếp. Khóa tu là để các con Thầy qui tụ về với Thầy. Tu giỏi là nhớ Thầy đúng mực. “Tụ” tập để nhớ Thầy mà vẫn là “tu” là pháp môn Làng Mai đó. Chúng con đồng lòng cám ơn các Thầy Cô của tu viện Lộc Uyển đã tạo duyên lành cho các khóa tu được thực hiện. Lợi lộc của chúng con có được xin dâng lên cho khắp thế giới, cho các đệ tử và chúng sinh đều trọn thành Phật đạo.

California, ngày 24 tháng 2 – 2022

Tâm Nhã Uyển – Doãn Liên

ĐÁM CƯỚI - NgọcHiển GunNhư

Cô Ngọc chú Hiển dìa dới nhao được 24 năm.
Giờ đến phiên Khánh Như và Gun dới nhao dìa. 

TIỄN "BẠN" - Alouis's body, Alouis, út

 

Vợ chồng Alouis út  tiễn "bạn" - cái xác (nói đùa là "container") đầy bứu bên trong:

- Hallo container. We wish you a nice trip back to đất nước lửa gió!

ALOUIS, EEN LIEVE SOCIALE MAN - René

Ik ben René de Jong. Ik spreek mede namens Ludy Veenhof en Ton Bouwmans, ook hier bij dit afscheid. We zijn allen collega en vriend van Alouis. 

Alouis Schrauwen, een vat vol tegenstrijdigheden, ogenschijnlijk

Door sommigen op het werk werd wat bevreemd naar Alouis gekeken. Altijd in het zwart. Niet al te vrolijk. Moest wel een sombere man zijn. 

Door anderen werd ook wat bevreesd naar Alouis gekeken. Ze vonden je streng, principieel, eigenzinnig. Alouis had een duidelijke mening en kon die ook helder verwoorden. Als je het ergens niet mee eens was, bracht je die boodschap duidelijk over. En als het nodig was diverse malen. De leraar in je was eigenlijk nooit weg. Je legde het nog maar een keer uit.

Ook als de boodschap wat vervelend was voor de ontvanger. Dat leverde wel eens een pijnlijk moment op voor de betrokkene. Zeker als dat een leidinggevende was. Alouis was kritisch op autoriteiten. En uitermate kritisch op de organisatie van de Belastingdienst, zeker op de afdeling personeelszaken. Door jou consequent de afdeling personeelsbestrijding genoemd. 

Maar het is gek, hè? We krijgen ook van heel veel collega’s terug dat Alouis altijd heel erg behulpzaam voor ze was. Niets was hem te veel. Dat gold ook voor de organisaties waar hij in het werk contact mee had. Hij zocht hun problemen tot de bodem uit, liet ze niet aan hun lot over. Hij vroeg eigenlijk nooit iets terug. 

Tekenend is de keer dat we beiden een houten vloer hadden gekocht in Tiel. Toen de vrachtwagen die bij mij afleverde stonden hij, Ton en Ludy direct klaar om me te helpen sjouwen. Maar toen zijn vloer werd afgeleverd, vroeg hij niets. Ik zag bij toeval de vrachtwagen en waarschuwde Ton en Ludy zodat we hem konden helpen. Hij wilde anderen niet belasten, vond het moeilijk wat te vragen. 

Alouis, wat hebben sommige mensen jou slecht begrepen.

Alouis, Ton, Ludy en ik waren aanvankelijk hele goede collega’s maar gaandeweg zijn we goede vrienden geworden. Alouis was terughoudend over zijn privéleven, leek welhaast vaak verlegen, ook op het werk. Maar heel belangstellend naar ons toe. Sociaal, als je zijn sympathie had, was niets hem te veel. Altijd bereid te helpen. En dat terwijl hijzelf grote moeite had om iets te vragen. 

Alouis en ik hebben tegelijk een huis in dezelfde straat gekocht. Hij kwam nog wel eens aan voor een Kriek Lambiek met een kroketje, later thee en zat dan op zijn gemak in de tuin of aan de keukentafel. Met Ludy en Ton gingen we met de echtgenotes geregeld uit eten. We hebben veel samen opgetrokken, hebben veel gedeeld. De vreugde, hij kon soms schaterlachend over de vloer rollen. Maar ook het leed. 

En hier zijn we dan. Met Alouis, voor Alouis. In de kern een lieve, sociale man, die we graag bij ons zouden hebben gehouden. 

Vaarwel Alouis, vaarwel vriend. 

*** 

My name is René de Jong. I also speak on behalf of Ludy Veenhof and Ton Bouwmans, also here at this farewell. We are all colleagues and friends of Alouis.

Alouis Schrauwen, a barrel full of contradictions, apparently

Some at work looked at Alouis a bit strangely. Always in black. Not too cheerful. Must be a gloomy man.

Others also looked at Alouis with some fear. They thought you were strict, principled, headstrong. Alouis had a clear opinion and was able to express it clearly. If you disagreed with something, you conveyed that message clearly. And if necessary several times. The teacher in you was never really gone. You just explained it one more time.

Even if the message was a bit annoying for the recipient. This sometimes resulted in a painful moment for the person concerned. Especially if that was a manager. Alouis was critical of authorities. And extremely critical of the organization of the Tax and Customs Administration, certainly of the Human Resources department. Consistently called the Human Resources Department by you.

But it's crazy, isn't it? We also get feedback from many colleagues that Alouis was always very helpful to them. Nothing was too much for him. This also applied to the organizations he had contact with during his work. He got to the bottom of their problems, didn't leave them to their own devices. He never really asked for anything in return.

The time we both bought a wooden floor in Tiel is typical. When the truck delivered it to me, he, Ton and Ludy were immediately ready to help me carry. But when his floor was delivered, he didn't ask. I accidentally saw the truck and warned Ton and Ludy so that we could help him. He didn't want to burden others, found it difficult to ask.

Alouis, some people have misunderstood you.

Alouis, Ton, Ludy and I were initially very good colleagues, but we gradually became good friends. Alouis was reserved about his private life, almost often seemed shy, even at work. But very interested in us. Social, if you had his sympathy, nothing was too much for him. Always ready to help. And that while he himself had great difficulty in asking something.

Alouis and I bought a house on the same street at the same time. He sometimes arrived for a Kriek Lambiek with a croquette, later tea and then sat comfortably in the garden or at the kitchen table. With Ludy and Ton we regularly went out to dinner with the wives. We have spent a lot of time together, we have shared a lot. The joy, he could sometimes roll on the floor laughing. But also the suffering.

And here we are. With Alouis, for Alouis. In essence a sweet, social man, who we would have liked to have kept with us.

Farewell Alouis, farewell friend.

Rene

(Google Translate)

WELKOMSWOORD BIJEENKOMST ALOUIS - Jos Schrauwen

Good afternoon everyone and welcome to this meeting in which we commemorate the life of Alouis, say goodbye to him and take him further in our thoughts. Glad you all came.

It is, of course, as we know Alouis, no coincidence that you are here. Due to his introverted nature he may not have always shown this but he trusted and valued you and you were important to him, possibly more than we think. He had, of course 😊, clearly indicated in advance who he would like to have at his farewell. He didn't leave that to chance either.

Today we commemorate the life of Alouis that began on July 7, 1957 in Hoogerheide, a village located between Bergen op Zoom and Antwerp. On the birth announcement we see that father, mother, brother and sisters are very happy with the new brother Alouiske. He grows up as the middle of a family of 7 children. He goes to nursery and primary school for boys in Hoogerheide. Sports clubs or the like were not for Alouis. One good friend with whom he roamed through the village and played a lot at home in a safe environment.

In 1969 we moved to Oudenbosch, where Alouis attended the Atheneum at Thomas More College. He was a good but withdrawn student. We didn't realize that at the time, but Alouis had a hard time with this change and he did not experience this secondary school as pleasant: in his eyes it was a gloomy regime of an old-fashioned brother school. Also during this time he held on to a select small group of friends and every now and then a girlfriend (he was good in the market 😊)

After high school he went to study law in Nijmegen. Another change that he had much more trouble with than average. Out of a certain sense of justice, he chose to study law and graduated in social law. However, his heart was with the numbers and he started the MO-A course in bookkeeping in the evenings, while retaining benefits (which was still possible at the time). He combined this from the 3rd year with teaching economics and social studies.

When he had finished his studies, he started working for the tax authorities at the end of the 1980s, based in Maastricht. He also moved in with his then girlfriend. He worked at the tax office for the rest of his life, in contrast to the relationship that did not last.

Alouis' sometimes turbulent life came to rest in the 1990s when he met the love of his Life, Huong, whom he met on one of his many travels. He continued to work for the tax authorities from Maastricht and for a number of years from Curaçao, but he organized this work so that he could regularly spend longer periods with Huong in Vietnam and later in America.

Towards us, his brothers, sisters, cousins, he became more and more the calm, very loyal and helpful brother and uncle: always present at birthdays and family gatherings, willing to help with anything and everything, without to expect something in return.

In 2017, he was literally and figuratively overcome by his illness. This was terribly difficult for him to accept and knocked him out of his carefully crafted balance. However, as long as treatment was possible, he took it with both hands because he didn't want to let go of life yet. He still had so many plans for Huong, of course completely mapped out from the moment he would retire.... At that moment his love and care for Huong came to the fore even more. Huong came to the Netherlands and their relationship was officially confirmed, of course not with the 'Marriage' institute but with registered partnership. It was a beautiful day in Maastricht that will remain in our memories. His main concern was that Huong would be able to move on without worries and independently when he was gone. It was an impossible task for him to see that he had already arranged more than enough for this.

In the spring of 2021, Alouis was told that he had been treated and the uncertainty that this entailed was incomprehensible to him, with his rational, introverted character. This last phase of his life was very difficult for him and he needed all the support he could get. Fortunately, you were there to visit him, solicited or unsolicited (after all, his standard answer was always: we'll see later), to arrange something for him and to support him.

Alouis, on Friday, February 5, a beautiful sunny day, you separated yourself from us and moved on to the light, as Huong sees. We want to give you positive energy in the form of beautiful memories. Narrative, with images and music that are characteristic for you.

At the end of this meeting there will be another get-together, of course according to your opinion that your guests should not lack anything.

We now listen to music and see you again as we know you.

*** 

Goede middag allemaal en welkom bij deze bijeenkomst waarin we het leven van Alouis herdenken, van hem afscheid nemen en hem verder mee kunnen nemen in onze gedachten. Fijn dat jullie allemaal gekomen zijn. 

Het is, zoals we Alouis kennen, natuurlijk geen toeval dat juist jullie hier zijn. Vanuit zijn introverte karakter heeft hij dit misschien niet altijd laten blijken maar hij vertrouwde en waardeerde jullie en jullie waren belangrijk voor hem, mogelijk meer dan we zelf denken. Hij had, uiteraard 😊, vooraf heel duidelijk aangegeven wie hij graag bij zijn afscheid wilde hebben. Ook dat heeft hij niet aan het toeval overgelaten.

Vandaag herdenken we het leven van Alouis dat begon op 7 juli 1957 in Hoogerheide, een dorpje gelegen tussen Bergen op Zoom en Antwerpen. Op het geboortekaartje zien we dat vader, moeder, broer en zusjes heel blij zijn met het nieuwe broertje Alouiske. Als de middelste van een gezin van 7 kinderen groeit hij op. Hij gaat in Hoogerheide naar de kleuter- en basisschool voor jongens. Sportclubs of iets dergelijks waren aan Alouis niet besteed. Eén goede vriend waarmee hij door het dorp struinde en verder veel thuis spelen in een veilige omgeving.

In ‘69 verhuisden we naar Oudenbosch waar Alouis op het Thomas More College het Atheneum volgde. Hij was een goede maar teruggetrokken leerling. Wij hadden dat toen niet goed in de gaten maar Alouis had het moeilijk met deze verandering en hij heeft deze middelbare schooltijd niet als prettig ervaren: in zijn ogen was het een naargeestig regime van een ouderwetse broederschool. Ook tijdens deze tijd hield hij vast aan een select klein clubje vrienden en zo af en toe een vriendinnetje (hij lag goed in de markt 😊)

Na de middelbare school ging hij rechten studeren in Nijmegen. Ook weer een verandering waar hij veel meer dan gemiddeld moeite mee had. Vanuit een zeker rechtvaardigheidsgevoel koos hij voor de studie rechten en studeerde af in het sociaal recht. Echter zijn hart lag bij de cijfertjes en hij startte, met behoud van uitkering (dat kon toen nog 😊 ) in de avonduren met de opleiding MO-A boekhouden. Hij combineerde dit vanaf het 3e studiejaar met docentschap in Economie en maatschappijleer. 

Toen hij met deze studie klaar was, ging hij eind jaren ’80 aan de slag bij de belastingdienst met als standplaats Maastricht. Daar ging hij ook samenwonen met zijn toenmalige vriendin. Bij de belastingdienst werkte hij de rest van zijn leven, in tegenstelling tot de relatie die niet lang stand hield.

Alouis soms woelige leven kwam tot rust in de jaren ’90  when he met the love of his Life, Huong, die hij ontmoette op één van zijn vele reizen. Hij bleef werken bij de belastingdienst vanuit Maastricht en een aantal jaren vanuit Curaçao, maar hij organiseerde dit werk zo dat hij met regelmaat langere periodes door kon brengen met Huong in Vietnam en later in Amerika.  

Richting ons, zijn broers, zussen, neven en nichten, werd hij meer en meer de rustige, heel trouwe en hulpvaardige broer en oom: altijd aanwezig op verjaardagen en familiebijeenkomsten, bereid om te helpen met van alles en nog wat, zonder daar ook maar iets voor terug te verwachten. 

In 2017 werd hij letterlijk en figuurlijk overvallen door zijn ziekte. Dit was vreselijk moeilijk voor hem te accepteren en bracht hem uit zijn zo zorgvuldig vormgegeven evenwicht. Echter zolang er behandeling mogelijk was, pakte hij dat met beide handen aan want hij wilde het leven nog niet loslaten. Hij had nog zoveel plannen met Huong, natuurlijk geheel uitgestippeld vanaf het moment dat hij met pensioen zou gaan….Op dat moment kwam zijn liefde en zorgzaamheid voor Huong nog extra naar boven. Huong kwam naar Nederland en hun relatie werd officieel bevestigd, uiteraard niet met het instituut ‘Huwelijk’ maar met geregistreerd partnerschap. Het was een mooie dag in Maastricht die in onze herinnering blijft. Zijn belangrijkste zorg was dat Huong onbezorgd en onafhankelijk verder zou kunnen als hij er niet meer zou zijn. Het was hierbij een onmogelijke opgave voor hem om te zien dat hij al meer dan voldoende hiervoor had geregeld. 

In het voorjaar van 2021 kreeg Alouis te horen dat hij was uitbehandeld en de onzekerheid die dit met zich meebracht, was voor hem, met zijn rationele, introverte karakter niet te bevatten.  Deze laatste fase van zijn leven was dan ook heel moeilijk voor hem en hij had alle steun nodig die hij kon krijgen. Gelukkig waren jullie er toen om hem gevraagd of ongevraagd (immers zijn standaard antwoord was altijd: we zien later wel ) te bezoeken, iets voor hem te regelen en te steunen.

Alouis, op vrijdag 5 februari, een mooie zonnige dag, heb je jezelf van ons los gemaakt en ben je verder gegaan naar het licht, zoals Huong dat ziet. Daarvoor willen we je positieve energie meegeven in de vorm van mooie herinneringen. Verhalend, met voor jou karakteristieke beelden en muziek.

Na afloop van deze bijeenkomst is er nog een samenzijn, natuurlijk volgens jouw opvatting dat het voor je gasten aan niets mag ontbreken.

We luisteren nu naar muziek en zien je terug zoals we je kennen.

- Jos Schrauwen

TOT IN D'N HIEMEL - Janine, Alouis

 

Over Alouis

Ik was ongeveer 30 jaar toen ik Alouis heb leren kennen in café D’n Hiemel ( vertaald: de hemel) aan de St Bernardusstraat in Maastricht, recht om de hoek bij de bekende Helpoort, de enige stadspoort die bewaard is gebleven van de oude middeleeuwse stadsomwalling. Café D’n Hiemel is er nu trouwens nog steeds.

In die tijd werd er flink gedanst in café D’n Hiemel. Er waren weinig plekken waar gedanst kon worden, en er waren altijd meer vrouwelijke dan mannelijke dansers op de vloer, dus Alouis viel op. Maar dat interesseerde hem niet: hij danste er vrolijk in zijn eentje op los. En aangezien ook ik van dansen houd, zijn we elkaar ergens op die vloer tegen gekomen, zijn we erna aan de praat geraakt en heb ik mijn naam en telefoonnummer op een bierviltje geschreven en aan Alouis gegeven. Datzelfde bierviltje heeft Huong me overigens tot mijn grote verbazing, kortgeleden teruggegeven. Ja hetzelfde; Alouis was een verzamelaar van boeken, van kranten en blijkbaar ook van bierviltjes. In zijn huis stond weinig meubilair, maar er lagen stapels boeken, tijdschriften en kranten langs de muren opgestapeld. En verder stonden er 1 vetplant en1 cactus, en hing er een wissellijst aan de muur. Het huis van een vrijgezel vond ik.

Er klikte meteen iets tussen Alouis en mij, anders had ik nooit zo maar mijn adres en telefoonnummer gegeven. We hadden gelijk gespreksstof; we hadden allebei net een relatie achter de rug, waren onze weg weer opnieuw aan het uitzoeken, waren geïnteresseerd in muziek, politiek en andere culturen. En zoals dat gaat; gelijkgestemden zoeken elkaar op en zo ontstond er een groep mensen die elkaar wekelijks trof in het café, en gezamenlijk muziekoptredens en festivals afstruinde: van blues tot pop/rock en wereldmuziek. Ik vond dat een heerlijke tijd, en ik weet zeker dat ook Alouis hiervan genoten heeft. Op het Sfinks festival werd tot in de laatsteuren gedanst, en dus ook door Alouis. Hij hield vooral van Afrikaanse muziek, ging later ook regelmatig op stap in het Afrikaanse circuit in Luik. Ook toen er in de jaren daarna stelletjes en kinderen meegingen naar die festivals, was Alouis er ook bij. Hij ging altijd mee. We hebben veel plezier gehad samen. 

In die groep waren mensen die veel gereisd hadden, en dat nog steeds deden. Al die enthousiaste verhalen moeten de reisdrang van Alouis aangewakkerd hebben, want ook hij ging langere reizen maken. Onder andere naar Australië, India en Viëtnam. Hij werkte ook een aantal jaren op Curaçao. Het reizen werd een soort van tegenhanger voor zijn werk bij de Belastingdienst dat hij bloedserieus nam en waaraan hij zich ook regelmatig groen en geel ergerde; hij had die uitlaatklep van het reizen nodig. 

Hoewel Marcel en ik ondertussen een gezin hadden, kwam Alouis regelmatig bij ons op bezoek,. Het contact bleef, wat toch wel opmerkelijk was voor een vrijgezel met een totaal andere levensstijl. Onze drie kinderen gaf hij bij hun geboorte allemaal een speelknuffel. Ondanks dat wij nu een totaal ander leven hadden, bleef hij ook geïnteresseerd in ons huiselijk bestaan. Hij heeft alle ups en downs van onze familie meebeleefd. Hij was er als je hem nodig had; een luisterend oor en hij gaf raad als je erom vroeg. Die belangstelling was er altijd, en wij vonden dat niet vanzelfsprekend. 

Ik ben heel blij dat hij op een van zijn reizen zijn grootste levenscadeau vond: Huong. Zij is zijn tegenpool en ze gaf hem gemoedsrust. Die gevoelige man die zichzelf zo moeilijk kon uiten, vond in haar iets wat hij broodnodig had. Een levensdoel. Ik ben dan ook blij dat ze ondanks zijn ziekte de laatste jaren bij elkaar hebben kunnen zijn. 

Alouis; ik, Marcel en de kinderen gaan je missen. Je bent de enige vriend uit die groep van lang geleden, die in ons leven is gebleven. Dat zegt wel iets. We begrepen en respecteerden elkaar. Bedankt voor meer dan 30 jaar onvoorwaardelijke vriendschap. Wie had dat gedacht toen ik je dat bierviltje gaf. Ik wil je me blijven herinneren op de dansvloer; dat beeld blijft hangen. Net zoals je gevleugelde uitspraak: God vergèf mig. 

Alouis, ik hoop dat het nog heel lang duurt, maar ik ga je beslist weer tegenkomen: tot in D’n Hiemel.

- Janine Notten 

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About Alouis

I was about 30 years old when I got to know Alouis in café D'n Hiemel (translated: heaven) on the St Bernardusstraat in Maastricht, right around the corner at the well-known Helpoort, the only city gate that has survived from the old medieval city walls. Cafe

D'n Hiemel is still there today.

At that time there was a lot of dancing in café D'n Hiemel. There were few places to dance, and there were always more female ones than male dancers on the floor, so Alouis stood out. But that didn't interest him: he danced happily on his own. And since I also like to dance, we met somewhere on that floor, we started talking afterwards and I wrote my name and telephone number on a beer mat and gave it to Alouis. Huong also gave me the same beer mat to my great surprise, recently returned. Yes the same; Alouis was a collector of books, newspapers and apparently also beer coasters. There was little furniture in his house, but piles of books, magazines, and newspapers were piled up along the walls. And furthermore there were 1 succulent plant and 1 cactus, and there was a picture frame on the wall. I found a bachelor's house.

There was an instant click between Alouis and me, otherwise I would never have just given my address and phone number. We were right to talk about; we both just got out of a relationship, were re-inventing our way, were interested in music, politics and other cultures. And as it goes; like-minded people seek each other out and that's how a group of people came into being that met each other weekly in the café, and jointly scoured music performances and festivals: from blues to pop/rock and world music. I thought that was a wonderful time, and I'm sure Alouis enjoyed it too. At the Sfinks festival, people danced until the last hours, and therefore also by Alouis. He especially liked African music, later also regularly went out on the African circuit in Liège. Alouis was also there when couples and children went to those festivals in the years that followed. He always went with me. We had a lot of fun together.

In that group were people who had traveled a lot, and still did. All those enthusiastic stories must have fueled Alouis's urge to travel, because he also went on longer journeys. To Australia, India and Vietnam, among others. He also worked on Curaçao for a number of years. Traveling became a kind of counterpart to his work at the tax authorities, which he took dead serious and which also regularly annoyed him; he needed that outlet of travel.

Although Marcel and I had a family in the meantime, Alouis came to visit us regularly. The contact remained, which was remarkable for a bachelor with a completely different lifestyle. He gave all our three children a toy when they were born. Despite the fact that we now had a completely different life, he also remained interested in our domestic existence. He lived through all the ups and downs of our family. He was there when you needed him; a listening ear and he gave advice if you asked. That interest was always there, and we didn't take it for granted.

I am very happy that on one of his travels he found his greatest gift of life: Huong. She is his polar opposite and she gave him peace of mind. That sensitive man who had such a hard time expressing himself found in her something he desperately needed. A life purpose. I am therefore glad that they have been able to be together in recent years despite his illness.

alouis; Me, Marcel and the kids are going to miss you. You are the only friend from that group from long ago who has remained in our lives. That's saying something. We understood and respected each other. Thank you for over 30 years of unconditional friendship. Who would have thought when I gave you that beer mat. I want to keep remembering you on the dance floor; that image lingers. Just like your winged statement: God forgive me.

Alouis, I hope it lasts a long time, but I will definitely meet you again: up to D'n Hiemel.

- Janine Notten